Kathryn (Garnett) Culbertson R: "Happy, Independent, Blessed, & Thankful"

At our 45^th class reunion, Kathryn Culbertson approached me and said, “My life would be a great book, if I ever get time to write it. I want to tell you about it sometime.” She briefly mentioned that her home life was terrible during our school years, that one of our teachers hid her during several weeks of school. and that another teacher urged her to leave home after graduation. 

We both managed to put off talking about it again until now, five years later, heading into our 50^th reunion. I sent her my usual questionnaire, and she replied with answers about her current life as a realtor, her joy in her children and grandchildren. When I asked her for her best or worst high school memory, she said, “School was not an easy time for me.  I never felt good enough, had no self-confidence, was very shy and I thus had very few friends.”

She left the space blank where I asked if there was anything she wanted to add, and I wasn’t going to pry. But recently, she decided she did want to add more because she has ended up “very happy, independent, blessed and thankful. I climbed up from poverty and physical and mental abuse to have a very happy filled life. I am blessed to have the most loving and amazing children. What more could I want or need? And grandchildren!”

I decided to share some of her story here because it is such a testimony to her strength and resilience. (The rest we’ll save for our book, right, Kathryn?) In addition, I want to recognize the friends that Kathryn did have at Perry. I have always thought it more important to have a few good friends than to have many acquaintances, and Kathryn surely had a few friends who were great, both fellow students and teachers.

Her real story began at age seven when she was raped by a relative and told never to tell. As we now know, that trauma effects one’s life so very deeply. And other mental and physical abuse went on in her home. She gratefully remembers Faith Edgein Plumb, who brought her lunch each day, as Faith’s mom packed the equivalent of two lunches, enough bor for each of them, and who has stayed a friend to today.  Faith confirms the story, saying, "My mom had a difficult childhood situation herself and recognized some of Kathy's need." Kahryn
also movingly recalls the friendship of Jody Dye, who transferred to and graduated from Washington High. (Jody now lives in Key West, and she is still singing professionally, everyone!)

But the big support came our junior year when a teacher [Mrs. McNutt] discovered Kathryn 

1968 yearbook photo

covered in hives, and questioning her, realized that her student had big trouble at home. Together with another teacher and an administrator, they helped her to get away from home for awhile and at graduation, Mrs. Swearingen told her to get out now that she could.

Years of hard work, medication, and therapy helped, but it was a slow process, one that took years. She notes, “Once I had children, I fought every day to get healthy and strong. And I did.”

Along the way, she went to college, where she carried a 3.9 average until she was divorced and deserted, with three children to support. She quit school and went into car sales at a Buick dealership in Toledo. She laughs, when she says, “Oh by the way, I knew nothing about cars, just faked it until I studied enough that I could talk about the features and then I learned to Sell!”

Finally, her big career move came when she obtained her Ohio license in 1985, and her Florida license in 1991. Living on the west coast of Florida for nineteen years, she specialized in “new construction and enjoyed the entire process from picking out a homesite until the finished home.” And she hopes to return to Florida in retirement. For now, which is to say the past eight years, she has lived in Miamisburg, Ohio, where she continues as a realtor who is “passionate about real estate and the flexibility it provides…[and passionate about] working with all my clients and families,” several of whom have become close friends.

Kathryn is also very passionate about her children and grandchildren, who are “fun and of course intelligent, kind and loving.” She went on about them at length, saying much more about them than she did about herself, and I am going to let her tell you about them: “My six grandchildren are the very best part of me… My oldest granddaughter is 19 and is studying to become a nurse at St. Joe’s College in Cincinnati. She has the drive and heart and compassion to become a great nurse. Next is my step-granddaughter Alexis, who is graduating from high school and then moving on to attend college this fall.  She along with my grandson, Cristian, 14 and Rauiri, 5, live in McLean, Virginia with my daughter Jennifer and her husband Roger. My youngest son, Peter lives here in Miamisburg and has two boys, Joshua 13 and Liam three and a half.  Joshua has Autism but very high functioning. I have been enjoying teaching him how to bake and cook one night a week.”

All this, and partner too: “I am also blessed to have my best friend and finance, Freddie. We have been together for fourteen years and enjoy traveling and just spending time together.”

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This was not an easy story for either of us to tell, but we decided to tell it--not to be sensationalist or to give you all something to gossip about. For my part,  I wanted to say that in every school and neighborhood, there are adults and children in duress, and that any small act, from a friend bringing an extra sandwich to a teacher stepping in to provide shelter can be life-saving. And Kathryn wanted us to know how possible and how important it is to work, no matter where one starts from, toward a happy, fulfilled life, which she is thrilled to have. 

When I asked if she had attended any reunions, and whether she would be attending the next, she noted, “Freddie and I attended the 45^th reunion together and had a great time visiting with my fellow Perry High School graduates. We’ll be back. We enjoyed the last one and I am looking forward to seeing everyone again. Going to a high school reunion at our age is sort of like coming full circle.”

Only now, for this classmate, the circle is wider and brighter than ever before. We look forward to seeing her, too.